L-R Olamitayo, wife, Mrs Nike Monica Okudaye, professional Textile Artist and the author

The author and Pa Tunji Oyelana, renowned Nigerian folklore musician

The author and Gbenga Adeyinka, Grand Comedian of the Federal Republic

The Author With Marcus Sorour, General Manager, Waggener Edstrom Communications, South Africa

The Author With Jahman Anikulapo, Program Chair, Committee for Relevant Arts (CORA)

24 Apr 2015

HUMBLE LIFESTYLE vs HYPED LIFESTYLE

Ikot nyin-mi,

Welcome to another week of Versus Series, I hope you had a great weekend? We all await the conclusion of the election in 3 states in Nigeria. As we have all been waiting for good news; may it be our lot in Jesus name. Let me not leave you to a rhetorical question, I said “My People” in Efik language of Cross-River State, Nigeria. Hopefully, we should extend our language tentacles to West African states soon.

11 Apr 2015

MARITAL SEPARATION vs MARITAL DETERMINATION II

Ndewo,

I have not abandoned my Igbo friends because I am still on the same discourse. I just said “Hello” in Igboland, South-Southern part of Nigeria. I started a discussion on seperation and determination last week and I am dwelling on the topic for this week too. May I ask, “I hope I have offended you through this particular title.

There are stories of children who grew up with single parents who demand to see the other parent at a point in time in life. Also, there are many men who married another woman for flippant reasons and they paid dearly for it at old age when they are neglected by children of both women.

10 Apr 2015

MARTIAL SEPARATION vs MARITAL DETERMINATION I

Kedu,

I bring you greetings from Igbo land, South-South region of Nigeria today by saying: “Hello”. Hope you are doing good and you had a great weekend thus far. What’s the result of the gubernatorial elections from your state? God will stretch forth his hand of greatness towards our country. Amen.

Today’s piece will be highly controversial and I want to stand by it. I want to ask, how would you effectively separate a couple? How do you untangle the romantic aspect of their lives? The items bought together? How would you share the children? Unpaid loans to one another? There is no judge that can effectively share it all; someone who have more to loss while the other gains more than the actual contributions.

Separation is a phenomenon when one of the couple gets tired, get frustrated or gets forced out of a union.  There is a need to reflect on what you do wrong as spouses. For every negative situation, either of the couple would be at fault; there are times when the man is wrong but would not want to accept it and vice versa. However, when one understands how to communicate effectively; then there is a resolution faster than assumed. If we learn to unlearn what we have known over the years for the new things our marriage would teach us, then, we would easily change. However, life-threatening situations are the only condition through which separation is allowed.

Determination is having a dogged attitude to keep the union alive against all odds. I have found myself in very absurd situations in marriage and I have been tagged strict because I have values that I cherish. I might be seen as belonging to the old generation to keep this posture but I think it is worthwhile. Determined and faithful partners should be encouraged just like virgins. It is only determination that would stop all negative incitements from having its way.

We keep seeing God as having made a mistake creating the male and female gender to raise children. The roles are separate and independent of one another. You might have all the affluence to train the children but the wrong influence during the formative years remains with them, as such; the standard of the parents is the norm.

Taking lessons from the Western culture would not help us as a whole. If we do not play roles that are beyond what nature ordained. We would be able to cross the little hurdles thrown at our union- financial, academic, in-law influences and others.

Do not be recruited into wrong train regardless of how you got into marriage-rushed, coerced, willingly or hypnotized. Kindly learn to fight for it protectively, carefully and prayerfully.

Remember, whoever does not have what he stand for will fall for everything!

God help us!


Olutayo

1 Apr 2015

PRAISE SINGERS vs TRUTH SAYERS

Okpam,

I last spoke with you last week when Nigeria was the cynosure of all eyes. The tension has doused and the nation is still nostalgic: some felt bad about losing the elections, some felt great about winning. May both be for the good of the nation at large. Okpam means my friend in Idoma language of Benue State, North-Central, Nigeria.

There is a set of traditional people in Yoruba culture and tradition called the “Ayan”. It is likely that you might have come across people whose surname starts with Ayan as the prefix. I would not want to waste your time on discussing this but you can read up a sister blog where this has been discussed in the past- Etymology: Prefix and Suffix as Variant of Yoruba names. This family’s craft include playing of the traditional drum and singing the praises of people and families. In fact, they add aesthetics to any event of Yoruba people. In this twist today, we would be examining it from the political angle.