L-R Olamitayo, wife, Mrs Nike Monica Okudaye, professional Textile Artist and the author

The author and Pa Tunji Oyelana, renowned Nigerian folklore musician

The author and Gbenga Adeyinka, Grand Comedian of the Federal Republic

The Author With Marcus Sorour, General Manager, Waggener Edstrom Communications, South Africa

The Author With Jahman Anikulapo, Program Chair, Committee for Relevant Arts (CORA)

Showing posts with label Respect. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Respect. Show all posts

11 Jul 2016

BLOATED EGO vs MASSAGED EGO

Makadini,

Last week was defined by a friend as a ‘mid-term’ for workers, it was at the beginning of the second half of the year so the holiday felt so good, so short and I felt like it should continue. However, the economy suffered largely for it. I just greeted you in Shona language of Zimbabwe saying ‘Hello’.

There is a story of a fairly old female trader who buys her goods from people who are as young as her children. As an African, this act was extraordinaire as many elderly people cheat younger ones. They feel very important when she addresses them with respect and this made it easy for her to get whatever she wants from them. She mentioned one day, ‘I do not feel foolish by respecting them because it deducts nothing from me. They have even respected me more because of my lifestyle. Being respectful is beneficial to the humble at every point in life.’ Let us think together as we consider Bloated Ego versus Massaged Ego.

6 May 2016

DISDAIN vs DEFERENCE

Photo credit: www.wordpandit.com

Aligwu Nyiam,

Trust you had a great week? I am still in solidarity with my Benue friends; I have come to you in Igede language saying ‘my friend’. Let me congratulate our Mothers; I am proud to be associated with different category of women who have impacted my life positively over the years: my daughter, my wife, aunties, my mother, my grandmothers and many foster women. I hope that one day; I will have the opportunity to write more about them.

I do not know if this applies to all cultures but I am sure that there are certain people that we revere and would not want to ignore their words ‘mi o lẹ ko ọrọ siyin lẹnu’. Many times, we unwillingly take to their stand because of the person involved. The response is usually you are so dear to me that is why I am taking this advice, e tobi lọwọ mi’. Let’s go to today’s discourse, disdain versus deference.

Disdain is a state of feeling of contempt for anyone regarded as unworthy, haughty, contempt and scorn. When a person is showing this trait, the person does not want to the opinion of the person. Many times, even at close range, the word of that person is not taken with a pinch of salt.

Deference is the state of utmost respect. The person has the ability to ‘correct, chastise and impact on your life. People are held in deference are usually more experienced than the person in question, they would have impacted on your life and their contributions to the previous achievements cannot be overlooked.

What’s the crux of the matter, everyone has someone that is held in deference; they have the ‘reset’ button to the person’s character when some wrong attitudes set in. For every relationship, locate that person your associate holds in deference and report the person so that restoration can happen before things turn worse.

The challenge for everyone is this, can you be held in deference? Even your children, do they look to you in deference? Have you lost your deference to some flimsy attitudes of life? All category of leaders at all facet of life must not toy with his deference because many times, once it is lost, it cannot be recovered.

There is a respected leader in everyone and it must not be lost to disdain.

Have a Wonderful Mothers Day.

Cheers!

Olutayo